Questions?

How do I know if I am the best person to support someone?

Noticing someone needs help and acting on it is very important. Even if you aren’t the best person to support someone, just the fact that you are there is awesome. The fact that you are taking this course means you are more equipped to support someone.

Remember, it’s not all on you. You can also always suggest they access other resources or (with their permission) pull in other people for support.

How come my friend isn’t asking for help themselves?  

Sometimes individuals seek help themselves, but sometimes they don’t. This can be for many reasons. The stigma surrounding mental health may make them worried they will be judged or seen as weak. Some may also not realize they need help or they may think that no one can help them.

By checking in, you let them know you are someone who cares. Perhaps next time they are going through something they will know they can ask for help.

I’m struggling with my mental health. Can I still be there for someone?

Absolutely you can. And in fact – you may have some unique set of skills or perspectives to share. You need to set boundaries around supporting a friend to make sure you are taking care of yourself and your mental health first.

What if someone doesn’t want my help?

It is understandable to feel frustrated or powerless. You can still support your friend by being patient, offering reassurance, informing them you’ll be there when they are ready, and becoming educated. Learning more about how to support someone (like this course!), or more about the situation they are going through, can help you be ready to support someone if they reach out.

I think this problem is more than I can handle but I feel like I am betraying my friend by going to someone else. What should I do?

Ask yourself some questions to help you assess whether you need the support of someone else.

• Do I have the skills to handle this?
• Can you explain to your friend why you need additional support in helping them? Can you support them in accessing help so you aren’t the one breaking confidentiality?
• Are they in danger?  

Share why you feel it’s important and let them know your concerns. At a certain point, it’s for their safety and yours. Regardless if you are worried about the safety of your friend, you need to get additional support.

What if I want to cheer my friend up or distract them with positivity that everything will be okay?

Sounds like you are a good friend and want to make sure everything is okay. Just be careful about how you frame this positivity and make sure this is actually what your friend wants and needs.

Sometimes if we try to tell someone they will be fine or everything will be okay, it can feel as if we are brushing off their concerns and not taking their experiences seriously. While sometimes a little perspective and positive thinking can be helpful, ask your friend what they need and go from there.

How do I talk about my problems or concerns if they aren’t as big as what they are going through?

First of all, every problem is important, and what is big or challenging for one person can be different for someone else. This doesn’t mean you don’t get to talk about your experiences.

Healthy relationships should be two-way streets. Supporting a friend through something difficult doesn’t mean it should be all that your friendship revolves around. Communicate with them about what you are going through and that you want to get their support as well.

It is also important to understand that everyone is in different places to provide support and you can also reach out to other people for support.

What should I do if this brings up a lot of emotions for me?

Acknowledging these emotions is the first step. It can be scary, upsetting, or emotional to see someone you care for going through something difficult. Take some time for yourself, engage in self-care, and talk to someone as needed.

I went through the skills for being there with a friend…what now?

It is important to continue to be there and continue your friendship.  Check-in from time-to-time to see if they need additional support.